The Thailand Two Step, Oh What a Night

Que Frankie Valli and the four seasons…

There is a certain phrase that is uttered more than most in Thailand, “Up to you”, I’ve had this phrase uttered in my general direction thousands of times and I occasionally throw it around myself. This is a tale of how those three simple words took on a whole new meaning and why I won’t throw them around so casually anymore.

I have several very close female friends here in Pattaya that I have known for 5 plus years, when I say friends that is exactly what I mean, they are only friends. Now, two of these friends I visit often at their place of work, and work is all they ever do.

So I decided to take them out for a night on the town.Unfortunately, for me, when they asked what you want I replied with “up to you”. Keep in mind if these were any other Thai ladies they would have said “no, no…up to you, you holiday”, these weren’t any other Thai ladies and they quickly formed a plan as this was their holiday.

I was quickly told “We want see GoGo, never see before”, I thought to myself it sounds like a reasonable request and I figured it would be enjoyable as well so, off we headed towards Walking street. Now, I should know better in situations such as these…always get the specifics because there are always specifics. Somewhere around Soi 13 they started to giggle and then at Soi 13/1 they made a right and headed for a small bar named Stringfellows, a Ladyboy A-GoGo. We ordered drinks and looked on as the Ladies, as it were, danced for us.

It seemed to be slow for a Friday night with only a few customers in the small GoGo which meant that I got a little more attention than I cared for, I do have to say though that the ladies were all very attractive in their own way and also big boned in every possible way. After 35 minutes and 2 drinks we check-binned and head back in the direction of Walking Street, Praise Buddha. Unfortunately for me Stringfellows was just the prelude to a very long night, a night that would not have me anywhere near walking Street and those lovely little Thai ladies.

Next Stop Boyz Town

They didn’t want to see women dance, they wanted to see gay men dance, lucky me :P Now I will be the first to tell you “to each their own”, whatever floats your boat and all that good stuff but this was going to be a tough evening and I had no idea how tough until we entered Toy Boys.

As soon as we entered my worst fears were confirmed, there were over 30 young Thai men dancing in only their underwear ( briefs, if you must know…white ) and I was the only male customer in the joint.

Before I go much further I have to say that all the bars in Boyz Town were very well laid out, well appointed and very spacious. A lot of thought and money was put into these clubs and it told me straight off that gay men are a much better breed of clientele than the average Pattaya tourist, and I soon found out how much better.

We ordered drinks and sat back into the leather sofa and no sooner than I had breathed a sigh of relief because I was safely tucked away with a woman guarding either side of me it happened.

Nam: I think someone like you

Me: ?!?!?!?

Nam: #69 look you…


#69 wasn’t just looking at me, he was looking through me all the while rubbing his package in a very scary Deliverance kind of way. Before I could even think of something to say the bar manager appeared to make sure we were alright and to help me make a selection…help me make a what?!?!?!? “No, I’m just here because the ladies want to look” I tell him to which he responds “No problem, I see many man come here first time bring lady…they shy”. Great, here I am in a gay bar with two close female friends, how the hell do you get out of this one and still look manly.

The bar manager later whispered to me that they have a party room up stairs and it would all be a very discrete affair. He also mentioned #69 was very versatile so the ladies would be no problem…lucky me.

At this point I need to explain #69 in more depth. #69 had his eyes on me from the second we walked in the club  and he never took them off me, or his hand off his junk for that matter. This was disturbing, not because a young handsome Thai man was staring at me while rubbing himself, okay that was disturbing too, but because of how he was looking at me. To be honest he looked at me like I was going to be a grudge fuck. He didn’t smile, he leered in a really angry creepy way that even scared the ladies

At this point the ladies stood up as if to go ( Thank you Buddha ) Instead they both giggled and said ” we go toilet”. OMFG they were leaving me alone in a room with 30 half nekkid men and to my horror #69 was coming off stage and directly at me with his leering and rubbing, fuck ( Karma…ain’t it a bitch ).

So, I did what any straight man would do in such a situation, I winked at #39 and patted the empty leather seat next to me…I was buying my first man drink. I couldn’t tell if this angered #69 as he had that angry lear on his face to begin with but he did make sure to sit at the edge of the stage and keep staring at me while rubbing away. Personally I think I made the best choice as #39 was quite charming and by the time the ladies came back he had damn near convinced me to barfine him.

Unfortunately for #39 the ladies were ready to move on and quite frankly so was I. #39 walked me to the door and I managed to get a parting shot of Ning with #39. If I do say so myself I made a good Choice for my first man drink :)

What a cutie…

Next we headed to the Copa and man what a nice club this was. This is when I realized how much better the gay clientelle is round these parts. In a regular beer bar ( open air bar ) a beer will set you back 50-80 haht ( $1.60 to $2.80 roughly ) and a vodka lippo is about 80-100 baht ( $ 3.00 roughly ). The Copa was head and shoulder above all on price at 250 baht for a mixed drink, 250 baht for a beer and 250 baht for a boy drink. 250 baht is roughly $8.30, not a cheap night out!

Luckily the men here were fewer in number and wore Levis sans shirt. Although I wasn’t in the market for a man #19 did the damnedest to let me know he was available and very interested in me, and this was from the stage 30 feet away. Just for research sake I also have to say #19 was probably the most handsome man I have ever seen…swoon. Yes, I was a bit tipsy at this point even with drinks being so expensive and luckily it was 3 am and closing time.

My gay night out in Pattaya, Thailand was over, or so I thought. I was then told we would be going to a bar/cafe just up the street as Nam thought she saw an old friend working there. It turns out Nam was correct, it was her friend and he just happened to b
e the headline act at Cafe Music. What would a Gay night out in Thailand be without show tunes and fine wine?

Well as you can see Tony serenaded us for about an hour before he finished his last set, I must say his Barry Manilow was impeccable and his Lady Gaga flawless, he really did have an impressive voice. After his set he joined us at the table and we did what anyone in Thailand would do at 4;30 am, we ordered dinner. Cafe Music is open 24 hours and their food was very tasty.

After a satisfying meal of Thai food it was time to call it an evening, I walked the ladies up to Second road and got them a baht bus home and I walked from there to my condo. On the way back I have to say there was a slight pep in my step and a smile on my face, I had a great night with great friends and made a few new friends along the way. As I reached my condo my phone rang, it was Nam. It seems Tony gave her a call and invited us all to come back to Boyz Town on Tuesday evening to see him sing, what else could I say but yes, now I just have to figure out what I’m going to wear…

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    7 thoughts on “Songkran 2010 Videos

    1. The video “SongKran 2010 with Matt Galas” is in serious bad taste, pathetic actually, the driver of the motorbike is riding around with a replica German Stahlhelm WW II Helmet with a swastika decal on. One of the many reasons I will never visit Pattaya.

    2. I am probably just a stick in the mud, but the second video (Songkran Pattaya 2010) illustrates precisely why I avoid Pattaya during Songkran.

      I am never in the mood to be douched by some drunken falang while sitting in the back of a taxi.

      If they restrict the water cannons to the bar sois (Pattayaland 1/2, Post Office, Yamato etc…) or Walking Street I would be able to avoid the idiots and be more inclined to visit during the holiday.

    3. Lloyd – You are condemning a place you have never been because of the actions of its foreign visitors ??

      I certainly hope tourists visiting your country do not take any video of their vacation.

    4. I have not condemned anything I simply pointed out that I will never go there, each to his own! However I have spent enough time in Jomtien and surrounding areas to know just what Pattaya and some of its residents are like, I also work as a consultant to a Thai and I can ensure you not a single person, Thai or farang, I have spoken to about Pattaya has said a good word about it.

      You easily condone the wearing of something so disgusting as a Nazi helmet, do you have no morals or common sense?

    5. Talen I don’t doubt what you say and having travelled and lived in Asia for more than 30 years I think I have a some idea about what we are talking about.

      Pattaya has a reputation second to none in Asia, and from the number of blogs, forums and videos that personify everything that is “wrong” with Pattaya its hard to see a reason to go there, or recommend it to anyone who does not wish to partake in such activities which is simply all I commented on.

      As for Nazi memorabilia, I have just spent 11 months in Thailand and travelled from north to south and east to west and have NEVER seen any such items for sale outside of areas around Pattaya, Nana Plaza and Patong which would indicate just who their primary clientele are.

    6. I wont argue with you because its pointless everyone see things in Thailand that others do not, its just such a great country, and people.

      Keep up your great writing, but chill out on Thaksin, having lived here for the past year I have come to see that he was just the one who was hung out to dry, so to speak, there are far worse snakes in the grass.

    7. Talen – You are most certainly a better man than I am. I would not have had the patience for such a

      lengthy discourse with someone who had made such an ignorant statement.

      The statement could have been dismissed had it been made by someone who has never left the comfort of their parents basement. To find it was written by someone who has been to Jomtien makes it seem incredibly silly.

      Thank goodness they put up the anti-falang wall between Pattaya and Jomtien.

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