Thai Women
Som Tam, a spicy papaya salad, can be found all over Thailand and is a staple food of all good Thai women. While the ingredients may change a little from vendor to vendor and the spiciness can be dialed up or down, you can generally get a familiar dish of som tam anytime night or day anywhere in the Kingdom. Thai women and som tam go hand in hand and actually som tam is pretty much the perfect metaphor for a Thai woman.
Much like their som tam counterpart Thai women can be sweet, sour and most definitely spicy. While I don’t care for som tam so much myself I have eaten enough to make the needed comparisons to Thai women. I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot lately, Thai women that is, and the awful plight I find myself in these days.
Rick and I have had this conversation about Thai women and relationships many times. Knowing what you are looking for is a start but it’s also like looking for a needle in the haystack and in Pattaya that haystack is huge and sometimes hiding things. There is also the looking for love in all the wrong places part, although lately I haven’t been looking.
Being a single man in Thailand definitely has it’s advantages, and, being an older single man in Thailand is even better. Unlike their Western counterpart, Thai women don’t put much weight on age differences as other things such as security and family are more important. While I’m not really too old at 45 my age age definitely has given me an advantage. Young men may look good but they are a risky endeavor to a Thai women.
Herein lies my problem, I’m a commodity it would seem. For some reason I am very attractive to many Thai women. Personally I think most men are ugly, including myself, but what do I know, I like women anyway. I am always being told by Thai women that I am law mak mak ( very handsome man ), evidently it has something to do with the shape of my face and how my hair compliments it…I usually utter, baak wan ( sweet mouth ) and move the conversation along but recently those sentiments have seemed sincere.
Just recently I’ve met 3 Thai women that fulfill all my requirements, tick all the right boxes if you will. I’m not looking for much but someone I am comfortable with and enjoy spending time with. These 3 Thai women range in age from 23 to 36 and each of them has surprised me in different ways. They all have a good command of the English language and don’t laugh at me too much when I butcher the Thai language. They are all very attractive, but that is a subjective thing, and they all have a worry that I might be a Jao Chuu ( butterfly).
Each has asked me sincerely why a handsome man such as myself has lived in Thailand for seven months and doesn’t have a girlfriend. my first response is usually to question their eyesight. The real fact is I haven’t found the right lady yet and this is what I tell them. None of the 3 ladies I have been seeing seem typically Thai to me in many ways. The oldest absolutely loves Western food and reading books, she doesn’t even own a T.V. The Youngest doesn’t care for pop music a bit, she would much rather listen to the Blues or Jazz and she absolutely adores Roy Orbison. The middle one is extremely conservative, so much so that I thought our first date was the last as she barely spoke, she also doesn’t care for spicy food. Not all Thai women are alike and I should never have assumed they were.
If I were living in America and I met similar ladies I’m not so sure they would even give me the time of day, but here in Thailand it is a much different story. It could be a money and security thing but I’m relatively certain they all know I’m not rich. While I’m not Kii Niow ( stingy) I’m certainly not one to splurge.
Decisions, decisions. This dating thing isn’t easy in Thailand and if I’m not careful the Jao Chuu monicker could stick.
For now the 23 year old is in the lead, normally that would be way too young for me but any woman who not only knows who Stevie Ray Vaughan is but can also sing you any of his songs definitely deserves a second and third look, doesn’t hurt that shes adorable either and loves to cuddle. Then again there is much to be said for the other 2 Thai women as well. This presents the even bigger problem which is the fact that I find most Thai women to be very attractive and I’m an incredible flirt.
One thing is for sure, Thai women are beautiful just take a look at the Thai Women Gallery if you don’t believe me.
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Hmmm… Papaya pok pok, pet nid noy, sep mak mak!
Best I ever had was in the little alley next to Soi Diamond just off of walking street.
Thanks, now I have a little Pavlovian thing going here.
Pavlovian things are always good
I love Thailand…see, it’s taught me to bite my tongue and smile at the same time
I’m off to re-check out your post on Songkran in CM!
Take care of that tongue Snap
Hilarious Snap
Talen, you never mentioned your final aim. A relationship? Marriage? From your post, it’s hard to tell.
Catherine recently posted..Teaser- The Interpreter’s Journal- Studying Foreign Languages
Cat, definitely a relationship, it’s much nicer to share life’s joys than to smile alone. I don’t know about marriage but I certainly wouldn’t discount it if it felt right.
While I wrote this as more tongue and cheek I am actively dating and looking for that right person. The three women I have been seeing lately all have qualities I really like and they all are a joy to be with but only time will tell. A good Thai friend wants me to meet her childhood friend that lives in Nakhon Phanom as she thinks we would hit it off and we are very close in age.
I guess the point of the post was basically it’s extremely easy to date in Thailand and extremely hard at the same time.
Talen, I’m with you all the way on the sharing of life’s joys bit.
Because continuously working through new relationships is for the young (but you still have plenty of time
Catherine recently posted..Teaser- The Interpreter’s Journal- Studying Foreign Languages
Cat, I definitely don’t want to be continuously working through new relationships but in order to find that one person you have to meet and date.
Whilst I’m impressed by your commitment to living in Thailand, the effort you put into your blog and how you have embraced learning the Thai language and its culture I am at a loss to understand how in 7 months of living in Thailand you can still hold such indifferent, or misguided beliefs.
“Unlike their Western counterpart, Thai women don’t put much weight on age differences as other things such as security and family are more important”
This is a fallacy that so many foreign men seem to enjoy believing, I guess it strokes their ego, along with the belief that all Thai husbands are bad and treat their wifes like dirt its a very common misconception.
The truth however is that age difference is one of the major factors in all failed relationships, combined with false expectations about wealth (the belief all foreign men are wealthy) and expectant lifestyles (the womens expextations of a nice house, car and money to travel and for her family) and you have a recipe for a failed relationship.
“It could be a money and security thing but I’m relatively certain they all know I’m not rich. While I’m not Kii Niow (stingy) I’m certainly not one to splurge.”
You have to think, would a normal, educated and attractive women see an unemployed older, and somewhat overweight, man as attractive?
I remember your post about the end of your relationship with Pookie, how at the time I was impressed how you seemed to have understood the position and difference between what you wanted and what were Pookies, and her families, expectations, now you seem to be falling into the same trap and questioning why.
The arguable truth is it is very highly unlikely that the women know and understand your true position, what you really have and are prepared to offer them and just what the difference is between your own and their expectations. Most Thai women in the prime of their lifes will be looking for someone who can give them a home, car, lifestyle without the excessive burden of debt, travel and a lifestyle that they desire, this will change depending on the women but it will most certainly involve spending money of family and status.
You are in a position where you could be traveling throughout Thailand and seeing, and writing about, far more of what the country and its culture has to offer and more likely to meet someone who is closer to a perfect “match”, yet instead you are living a somewhat “Kii Niow” existence in the cesspit of Thailand.
Lloyd, the age difference is far from a fallacy. I have seen countless Thai women married to older Thai men throughout Thailand and it is a noted fact that has been written about extensively throughout Asia as a whole. I do agree age is a large factor in failed marriages, as well as getting married to young and fighting about money.
What leads you to believe these women aren’t normal or educated. The 23 year old holds a college degree. While the other two are not university educated they both own their own businesses. As far as traps I am falling into none. Although I do admit that dating in and of itself is a trap of sorts.
As far as traveling throughout Thailand, I am and have been. Just because you haven’t read about yet doesn’t mean I am cheap and living a meager existence in a cesspit. Pattaya is also hardly a cess pit.
“You have to think, would a normal, educated and attractive women see an unemployed older, and somewhat overweight, man as attractive?”
I believe that attractiveness and beauty are a very subjective thing and that’s why you see fat people married to skinny people, old to young, and same sex marriages…and what you think you know about me or the life I live would barely fill a thimble.
Yes, as you point out, from “appearances” there are older Thai and Asian men who marry younger women however in the vast majority of these cases it is more for social and “class” reasons than the womans desires for an older man.
“Village Farang” has a good few posts on this exact subject, from someone who has lived in Thailand for more than 30 years, well worth a read it might just give you a different insight.
Lloyd, I agree that a lot of these Thai marriages are about social status and class.
Hi Talen, you story makes an interesting read.
I can’t advise you in your case, but I boast myself to have a sixth sense for quickly to know people. It takes just a few seconds. I don’t know much how to explain, but I seem to keep on looking to the eyes and also how they move. I stick to the first impression after checking out all other details later.
So far when I wanted to have a relation, it hasn’t done me wrong that much.
I-nomad, Gut feelings are usually never wrong…mine hasn’t failed as of yet but there have been confusing times
Talen,
Do you file now under, overweight, bald headed Western guy who dates young Thai women? Horrible, disgusting!
hahaha, great post! Keep it up (pun intended
The age thing that Lloyd disputes, it’s a lot different here than in the West and for 75% I agree with you and 25% with Lloyd, it’s a fairly well known fact imho that Asian women tend to look more at security and family are more important, but just as the 3 current ladies that you’re seeing, there are exceptions everywhere!
Lloyd is fairly right with his last comment, a Thai woman wants you to splurge on her, status is important! Whether you like i or not, a little bit of a splurge on the right one won’t hurt.
Man, you could go on forever on this topic, right?
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Camille, I think that will be my new tag line
As for splurging, I do , when it’s appropriate…but being the ATM is something I am not good at.
Talen,
Being the ATM is plain stupid and you’re past that level, uh, at least I hope….;-)
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Talen, I’ve been following your blog for a while (which is a great big deal since I don’t follow any other blog now that I have left the blogging world!) Do you have any blog post on your break up with Pookie? I could not find it! Can you give me the link?
KittyKat, I wrote very minimally about the breakup in my third anniversary post.
http://thailandlandofsmiles.com/2010/09/12/change-inevitable/
and isaan women are like
moo dtet diaow
brown, tough, and lean