Que Frankie Valli and the four seasons…

There is a certain phrase that is uttered more than most in Thailand, “Up to you”, I’ve had this phrase uttered in my general direction thousands of times and I occasionally throw it around myself. This is a tale of how those three simple words took on a whole new meaning and why I won’t throw them around so casually anymore.

I have several very close female friends here in Pattaya that I have known for 5 plus years, when I say friends that is exactly what I mean, they are only friends. Now, two of these friends I visit often at their place of work, and work is all they ever do.

So I decided to take them out for a night on the town.Unfortunately, for me, when they asked what you want I replied with “up to you”. Keep in mind if these were any other Thai ladies they would have said “no, no…up to you, you holiday”, these weren’t any other Thai ladies and they quickly formed a plan as this was their holiday.

I was quickly told “We want see GoGo, never see before”, I thought to myself it sounds like a reasonable request and I figured it would be enjoyable as well so, off we headed towards Walking street. Now, I should know better in situations such as these…always get the specifics because there are always specifics. Somewhere around Soi 13 they started to giggle and then at Soi 13/1 they made a right and headed for a small bar named Stringfellows, a Ladyboy A-GoGo. We ordered drinks and looked on as the Ladies, as it were, danced for us.

It seemed to be slow for a Friday night with only a few customers in the small GoGo which meant that I got a little more attention than I cared for, I do have to say though that the ladies were all very attractive in their own way and also big boned in every possible way. After 35 minutes and 2 drinks we check-binned and head back in the direction of Walking Street, Praise Buddha. Unfortunately for me Stringfellows was just the prelude to a very long night, a night that would not have me anywhere near walking Street and those lovely little Thai ladies.

Next Stop Boyz Town

They didn’t want to see women dance, they wanted to see gay men dance, lucky me Now I will be the first to tell you “to each their own”, whatever floats your boat and all that good stuff but this was going to be a tough evening and I had no idea how tough until we entered Toy Boys.

As soon as we entered my worst fears were confirmed, there were over 30 young Thai men dancing in only their underwear ( briefs, if you must know…white ) and I was the only male customer in the joint.

Before I go much further I have to say that all the bars in Boyz Town were very well laid out, well appointed and very spacious. A lot of thought and money was put into these clubs and it told me straight off that gay men are a much better breed of clientele than the average Pattaya tourist, and I soon found out how much better.

We ordered drinks and sat back into the leather sofa and no sooner than I had breathed a sigh of relief because I was safely tucked away with a woman guarding either side of me it happened.

Nam: I think someone like you

Me: ?!?!?!?

Nam: #69 look you…

Me:?!?!?!?

#69 wasn’t just looking at me, he was looking through me all the while rubbing his package in a very scary Deliverance kind of way. Before I could even think of something to say the bar manager appeared to make sure we were alright and to help me make a selection…help me make a what?!?!?!? “No, I’m just here because the ladies want to look” I tell him to which he responds “No problem, I see many man come here first time bring lady…they shy”. Great, here I am in a gay bar with two close female friends, how the hell do you get out of this one and still look manly.

The bar manager later whispered to me that they have a party room up stairs and it would all be a very discrete affair. He also mentioned #69 was very versatile so the ladies would be no problem…lucky me.

At this point I need to explain #69 in more depth. #69 had his eyes on me from the second we walked in the club  and he never took them off me, or his hand off his junk for that matter. This was disturbing, not because a young handsome Thai man was staring at me while rubbing himself, okay that was disturbing too, but because of how he was looking at me. To be honest he looked at me like I was going to be a grudge fuck. He didn’t smile, he leered in a really angry creepy way that even scared the ladies

At this point the ladies stood up as if to go ( Thank you Buddha ) Instead they both giggled and said ” we go toilet”. OMFG they were leaving me alone in a room with 30 half nekkid men and to my horror #69 was coming off stage and directly at me with his leering and rubbing, fuck ( Karma…ain’t it a bitch ).

So, I did what any straight man would do in such a situation, I winked at #39 and patted the empty leather seat next to me…I was buying my first man drink. I couldn’t tell if this angered #69 as he had that angry lear on his face to begin with but he did make sure to sit at the edge of the stage and keep staring at me while rubbing away. Personally I think I made the best choice as #39 was quite charming and by the time the ladies came back he had damn near convinced me to barfine him.

Unfortunately for #39 the ladies were ready to move on and quite frankly so was I. #39 walked me to the door and I managed to get a parting shot of Ning with #39. If I do say so myself I made a good Choice for my first man drink

What a cutie…

Next we headed to the Copa and man what a nice club this was. This is when I realized how much better the gay clientelle is round these parts. In a regular beer bar ( open air bar ) a beer will set you back 50-80 haht ( $1.60 to $2.80 roughly ) and a vodka lippo is about 80-100 baht ( $ 3.00 roughly ). The Copa was head and shoulder above all on price at 250 baht for a mixed drink, 250 baht for a beer and 250 baht for a boy drink. 250 baht is roughly $8.30, not a cheap night out!

Luckily the men here were fewer in number and wore Levis sans shirt. Although I wasn’t in the market for a man #19 did the damnedest to let me know he was available and very interested in me, and this was from the stage 30 feet away. Just for research sake I also have to say #19 was probably the most handsome man I have ever seen…swoon. Yes, I was a bit tipsy at this point even with drinks being so expensive and luckily it was 3 am and closing time.

My gay night out in Pattaya, Thailand was over, or so I thought. I was then told we would be going to a bar/cafe just up the street as Nam thought she saw an old friend working there. It turns out Nam was correct, it was her friend and he just happened to be the headline act at Cafe Music. What would a Gay night out in Thailand be without show tunes and fine wine?

Well as you can see Tony serenaded us for about an hour before he finished his last set, I must say his Barry Manilow was impeccable and his Lady Gaga flawless, he really did have an impressive voice. After his set he joined us at the table and we did what anyone in Thailand would do at 4;30 am, we ordered dinner. Cafe Music is open 24 hours and their food was very tasty.

After a satisfying meal of Thai food it was time to call it an evening, I walked the ladies up to Second road and got them a baht bus home and I walked from there to my condo. On the way back I have to say there was a slight pep in my step and a smile on my face, I had a great night with great friends and made a few new friends along the way. As I reached my condo my phone rang, it was Nam. It seems Tony gave her a call and invited us all to come back to Boyz Town on Tuesday evening to see him sing, what else could I say but yes, now I just have to figure out what I’m going to wear…

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We decided to roam about Pattaya and hit some bars and no more than 2 bars into soi 7 we settled into a bar with some very lovely ladies and one persistent Ladyboy. Now don’t get me wrong here…the Ladyboy was very nice and fun to talk with but definitely more boy than lady. She/he/it kept making eyes at me and telling me I was handsome and we were all having a good laugh. We decided it would be best if we were just friends.

A few beers and a couple of hours later my girl calls and says that the karaoke time with the girls is over and she’s at the bottom of soi 8…I tell her I’ll check bin and meet here there in a minute. All is well and I pay my tab but before I can go my new found friend gives me a kiss on the cheek goodbye, no big deal…right?

Well, I meet my girl and the first words out of her mouth are “what you do? You have lady!” of course the thought never occurred to me that I was walking around with a perfect lipstick kiss on my cheek. I protested but still got that evil Thai eye so off we went back to the bar on soi 7 to introduce my girl to my new friend…much to my brothers amusement.

Satisfied that I didn’t have a lady my girl laughed and asked me why I didn’t tell her I like ladyboys!

I don’t think you’ll have any problem figuring out who my new friend is in the pic below 

Ladyboys, Katoey, The third sex. Whatever you want to call them they can be found everywhere. They work in the bars and nightclubs as well as the shop’s, restaurant’s and 7/11. Some are absolutely stunning and others are slightly less than feminine but for the most part they all consider themselves ladies.

Sometimes you can spot them easily by the bigger feet and long fingers but other times it can be quite tough. An Adams apple isn’t always noticeable and sometimes the voice can fool you. The Thais don’t care for them that much but they are accepted for the most part as part of the society.

If you find yourself drinking one night and talking to a beautiful lady with a slightly husky voice you might want to think twice before declaring your undying love.

Haven’t had enough? You can find the extremes ladyboy looks go between by reading about The One That got Away

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