Going back through some older posts I came across one I had written some time ago entitled  And you Thought You Knew About Thailand. It’s always cool to learn new and interesting things about some place or thing that you love.  Such as The King of Thailand is an American citizen or the fact that it is illegal in Thailand to go out without wearing underwear.

One entry on the ever growing list of interesting Thailand facts has puzzled me for a while so I thought I would dig a little deeper and see what I could find out. The King of Thailand possesses the largest faceted diamond in the world, the Golden Jubilee. Most people have heard of this diamond but there is very little information out there on the subject and even fewer pictures.

In 1985 a brown diamond was uncovered at the Premier mine in South Africa that weighed in at a whopping 755.5 carats uncut. The Star of Africa, weighing in at 530.20 carats,  held the title of the worlds largest cut diamond from 1908 until 1985 when the brown diamond was uncovered and cut to a weight of 545.67 carats, making it the largest cut diamond in the world.

This unnamed brown diamond had a very awkward beginnings. Colorless and blue diamonds are very sought after but the brown diamonds are the ugly ducklings of the family and generally worth much less. The unnamed brown diamond was given to Gabriel Tolkowsky by De Beers for the purpose of testing special tools and cutting methods which had been developed for intended use on the flawless D-colour (“colourless”) Centenary diamond. These tools and techniques had never been tested before, and the large unnamed brown diamond seemed the perfect stone to test them on. After all if the new methods employed to cut the stone went amiss it would be no great loss.

What happened next was a surprise to all. The new methods worked better than expected and the unnamed brown diamond turned out to be a very beautiful yellow brown diamond in a fire rose cushion cut. Once cut the the stone weighed in at 545.67 carats which was 15.37 carats heavier than it’s sister stone the flawless Culinan I which was selected and later renamed  to the Centenary to promote herald De Beer’s centennial celebrations.

The still unnamed diamond took a small tour of the world when it was brought to Thailand by the Thai Diamond Manufacturers Association to be exhibited in the Thai Board of Investment Exhibition in Laem Chabang. The exhibition garnered so much attention that there were daily lines of over 1 mile long just to see the yellow-brown stone.

Skipping forward to 1995, a group of Thai businessmen led by one Henry Ho purchased the 545.67 carat diamond from the De Beers group with the intention of presenting it to the King of Thailand in 1997 in recognition of his 50th year on the throne. Before the presentation was made though the diamond still had several trips to make. The first was to the Vatican where the diamond would receive  the Papal blessing by Pope John Paul II and then back to Thailand where it would be blessed by the Supreme Buddhist Patriarch and the Supreme Imam in Thailand.

The diamond was then presented to King Bhumibol Adulyadej on the 50th anniversary of his coronation day in 1997 where the King gave the diamond it’s name, The Golden Jubilee.  Initial plans were to mount the Golden Jubilee in the Royal Scepter, later discussions centered around mounting the stone in the Royal Seal. Neither has ever happened.

The Golden Jubilee Diamond has been exhibited at Henry Ho’s 59-story Jewelry Trade Center in Bangkok, the Central Department Store in Lad Prao (Bangkok) Thailand, and internationally in Basel (Switzerland), Borsheims in Omaha, USA (owned by Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway Inc.), and Gleims Jewelers in Palo Alto, USA.  The Golden Jubilee now resides in the Royal Thai Palace as part of the crown jewels.

An interesting aside to the diamond has to do with the financial collapse of the markets across South East Asia in 1997. Fearing that the people of Thailand would see this gift as too opulent and an arrogant purchase in such economic times, the Thai government decided it would be best to down play the gift and tell the people that the King was gifted a large Topaz.

To this day most Thai’s still believe the Golden Jubilee is a large Topaz and not the worlds largest cut diamond. It’s believed that this reasoning is what kept the diamond from being mounted in the Royal Scepter or the Royal Seal and definitely why there are so few pictures of the diamond after 25 years.

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It’s not usually easy to tell who is who politically or otherwise in most countries, luckily in Thailand there is an obscure law that demands people show themselves for who they really are. Red shirts, yellow shirts, green shirts and more all signify a different faction that you should familiarize yourself with before traveling to the Kingdom. The below descriptions should give you a head start on figuring out the color coded fashions of Thailand.

The yellow shirt used to be a simple matter because every day of the week has a color associated with it. Yellow is the color for Monday and Monday happens to be the day that the King was born on. You would always see Thai’s wearing yellow on Mondays to honor their beloved King but that was before the People’s Alliance for Democracy (PAD) took over the color as their battle flag against the red shirts, the Thai Rak Thai party who became the PPP, The PPP and anything Thaksin.

Most notable accomplishment: 2006 coup that ousted Prime Minister Thaksin.

Natural Habitat: airports, government buildings and wherever the red shirts are.

Now the Yellow shirt is seen as more as the fashion statement of the Bangkok Elite.

What about the KIng? Please refer to Pink Shirt.

The red shirt is the battle flag of The United Front for Democracy against Dictatorship (UDD). They are comprised of Thailand’s rural poor who support ousted Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra. Thaksin rose to power by courting the rural Thai’s and promising many changes to make their lives better.

As Prime Minister Thaksin made good on those promises while using his power to line his own pockets through many corrupt business deals. Ousted in the 2006 coup, Thaksin has been gathering his army of red shirts to protest the new government and help him come back to Thailand with immunity from prosecution.

Natural Habitat: government buildings, hotel conference centers and wherever som tam is being served.

The red shirts love the king but can’t wear yellow or they might be thought of as PAD supporters when they are really Thaksin supporters.

Green shirts are the new yellow shirts . The People’s Alliance for Democracy who were once a movement to defeat Thaksin have decided that now they want to be a political party and everyone knows that when you start a new political party you need a new shirt color. So now green is the new yellow but red shirts still won’t wear yellow because the green shirts used to wear yellow and the red shirts don’t want to be seen as supporting the yellow shirts even though now they are the green shirts.

There is also the hope that by changing colors from yellow to green that people might forget that the yellow shirts shut down the airport and generally have been a pain in the ass since the coup.

What about the poor King , can he go back to being yellow shirt again? Please refer to Pink shirts.

The Blue shirts first came on the scene when the Yellow shirts took over the airport in Bangkok. The Yellow shirts blockaded the airport to protest the Peoples Power Party (PPP) who was the old Thai Rak Thai Party that Thaksin Shinawatra was the leader of. It wasn’t enough they ousted the prime minister they then wanted to disband his party even though his party was disbanded by the government only to reform as the PPP that the Yellow shirts wanted disbanded.

The Yellow shirts succeeded in removing the PPP but not before pissing off the Blue Shirts who represented the working man and the nations utilities. By closing down the airports they not only put a hurting on tourism but on the the Blue shirts pocketbooks.

The Blue Shirts have no love for the Red Shirts either after the Red Shirts invaded the ASEAN Summit in Pattaya by breaking down the doors to the conference and generally scaring the shit out of more than a few world leaders. The blue shirts engaged the Red Shirts with all manner of sticks and bats and generally had the approval of Thailand’s military who didn’t stop them because everyone knows the military is on the Yellow Shirts side, probably even more so now that they are green.

The Pink Shirt came into being in 2007 when the King was hospitalized. Royal astrologers came to the conclusion that Pink was a good color for the Kings health. When the King left the hospital in November of 2007 he was indeed wearing a Pink Shirt and a Pink jacket which started a mad rush throughout Thailand for Pink Shirts in honor of the King.

The King who normally wore darker colored suits has since been seen wearing a whole range of colors which led to speculation that there would also be a run on Green and Blue Shirts but unfortunately those colors have been taken. Now Thai’s like to wear Pink Shirts to wish the King good luck and good health. Some still wear yellow shirts but generally they don’t want to be associated with the PAD movement who also doesn’t want to be associated with itself and that’s why they are now Green Shirts.

Long live the King and may no one steal his color again!

The Light Blue – Blue Shirt is the color for Friday in Thailand which is also the Queens day of birth. Wearing a Blue shirt usually signifies respect for the Queen. You will still see many Thai’s wearing Blue on Friday for the Queen and it is usually a light blue. Thankfully no one has stolen the Queens color but I have a feeling that eventually the PAD will take blue because as we all know, by combining yellow and green you wind up with blue so it makes sense that the once yellow shirts that are now green shirts will someday be blue shirts by washing of said yellow shirts and green shirts together.

You’ll have no doubt noticed that I sometimes capitalized the shirt colors and sometimes did not. Being as I intend on returning to Thailand in the near future I wanted to assure I have given due respect or disrespect to the various colors so I can lie my ass off if cornered.

Here are a few more shirts to be on the look out for when in Thailand…while generally harmless they are always good for a laugh.

Newbies first trip to Pattaya. Easily recognizable, you will have no doubt you are dealing with a first timer to Pattaya. If you are said first timer remember this shirt and buy it immediately upon arriving in Pattaya and make sure you wear it your first night in town so everyone knows you are new to the town. When the vacation is over and you go home make sure to wear this shirt every weekend so people will ask you all about Pattaya.

Newbies second trip to Pattaya. Not wanting to be seen as a newb by wearing the newbies first trip to Pattaya t-shirt the newbie will purchase the Same Same shirt to signify his second trip to the Land of Smiles. Some newbies make the newbie mistake of buying this shirt their first trip but this is generally looked down upon by the older newbies and should not be done. Make sure to buy this shirt during your first visit to the market during your second trip to Pattaya. Yes, there are other places besides bars and hotel rooms in Pattaya.

This shirt is pretty self explanatory. Usually bought as a joke referring to how Thai women in the entertainment industry see the foreign men that come to court them. Sadly this is typically worn by a newbie who thinks by making light of being a walking ATM won’t make him look like a walking ATM but all the girls already know he is a walking ATM because there is an invisible tattoo on his forehead that was put there when leaving his brains at the immigration line at the airport which clearly states ” Walking ATM”.

Typically worn by the newbie that went to Bangkok first for a few days but then wears it in Pattaya as to not look like a newbie. Usually buys the ATM shirt soon after. When he gets home he will wear this shirt as often as possible hoping that you will ask him if he has been to Bangkok.

At this point you will be assailed by a man on a mission who is very similar to street corner evangelists. They both will tell you that you are going to hell but the Newbie Bangkok shirt wearer will generally be able to describe it better with visual aids, directions and phone numbers if needed.

This shirt is worn by the jaded expat who can’t be bothered to say Mai ow, krup anymore. He sits in one of the many beer bars in the kingdom and gets hassled every 10 minutes by someone selling, dvd’s, pictures, pictures with snakes, roses, watches, suit sellers, stun gun marketers and generally every Thai working in the tourist industry that saw him wearing the newbie t-shirts in his earlier years of traveling the Kingdom.

The Thai word for foreigner is Farang or Falang. Typically anyone wearing this shirt wants to make sure that there is no confusion on the part of the local Thai’s as to the fact that he isn’t a Thai himself. He is also telling the local Thai’s that he would like to pay even more than the regular Falang price which is already twice the Thai price.

Last,  but most definitely not least,  is the t-shirt worn by the guy who wants you to know that he is absolutely not gay…he just happens to like other men who look like women but still have their willies attached. Besides it’s not gay if they have big breasts and you don’t touch the twig and berries…well, not too gay anyway.

While this article may have contained some factual evidence for the colors of shirts in Thailand for the most part this was a tongue and cheek look at an incredibly twisted color code that influences daily events in the Kingdom. No offense was meant to anyone, especially the Pattaya newbies considering we were all one once and I happened to be the one wearing the Bangkok shirt

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We’ve all seen them, the bad translations to English or the very serious ones that always seem to come out lighter than expected. I have a small collections of funny Thai signs from my travels around Thailand and some I’ve had sent to me but now I’m looking for more. So, if you have run across a funny Thai sign and happen to have your camera handy, take a picture and send it in and I’ll make sure to give you credit and a link back if you happen to have a blog or web site.

Here’s a few funny Thai signs to get you started with a link to more in the gallery. Funny Thai Signs gallery.

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Photo courtesy AP

Not only has the Nazi regime reared it’s ugly head again in Thailand this time their leader is making an appearance as well.

Next month Louis Tussuad’s Waxworks is set to open in Pattaya and among the famous and infamous to be on display will be the likeness of Adolph Hitler. The wax Hitler will be on display in what is termed “the scary section” of the museum.  The owners say it’s not meant to celebrate Hitler but to show the important historical figure in a horrible way.

Unfortunately the Thai’s never seem to get it right when it comes to the Nazi’s as can be seen in the above picture of a billboard erected on the main highway leading into Pattaya. The caption underneath the large image of Hitler reads ” Hitler is not dead”. Rightly so,  this has upset and angered many German and Israeli tourists as well as their embassies who have asked that the tasteless billboard be taken down.

The museum operators have agreed to do away with the Hitler image and will be replacing the billboard with another historical figure to promote the grand opening in November. One can only wonder what they were thinking when they could have used other historical figures set to be on display such as Gandhi, Michael Jackson or martial arts legend Bruce Lee. Of course they wouldn’t have generated the publicity that Hitler has, and everyone knows that there is no such thing as bad publicity.

While I’m sure that the Hitler billboard was at least partially a stunt to garner interest and get people talking about the upcoming opening, there still remains a very real fascination in Thai culture with the Nazi’s and their symbolism. Just two years ago a Thai school put on a show that had students dressed in Nazi regalia complete with guns and swastika’s. After all was said and done many apologies were made and the teacher in charge of the event was let go. The school has since implemented holocaust lectures into it’s curriculum in a bid to promote understanding of the atrocities committed by the Nazi’s.

Photo’s courtesy AP

And still the fascination with Nazi’s continues. If you go to any market in Bangkok or Pattaya you’re bound to come across t-shirts and other Nazi paraphernalia for sale. I’ve never seen anyone actually buying any of it but just the fact that it is for sale suggests that there is a void being filled.

The Swastika is actually a very ancient and revered Buddhist symbol that Hitler usurped for his own purposes which tainted the symbol forever with it’s negative connotations.

I honestly think it’s more of a fashion statement than any kind of racism or direct affront to any nationality, but you would think that by the 21st century the people of the world would understand and appreciate the atrocities committed behind these symbols even if they weren’t directly impacted by it.

One can only hope that this infatuation with the Nazi’s will fade away into Thai history soon but I have a feeling this won’t be the last we hear from Hitler and his buddies in Thailand.

For a great look into the Asian fascination with the Nazi’s check out Sweet “Nazi Chic”: It Could Only Have Happened In Thailand? over at Absolutely Bangkok

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Since my first trip to Thailand I have never ceased to be amazed when I go to Pattaya. A thriving beach town that has everything on offer at every turn. Aside from all the beautiful Thai women and the immense choice when it comes to entertaining oneself , Pattaya is the perfect town to get anything done or do nothing at all.

Once you get past the deer in headlights stage of your initial Pattaya experience and settle in you realize that this town is all about tourism and usually tourism is good. But even in the best of times I just can’t seem to fathom how many of these businesses stay above water. The bars and nightlife venues seem to have a handle on it during the best of times but those that are barely making it close fast when tourism is down. That’s to be expected in any tourist town where the nightlife is the staple of entertainment. What’s closed today will reopen eventually under new name and management.

What I can’t get over is the sheer number of ordinary businesses that are replicated block after block and street after street. After a while it looks like a baker made Pattaya using a good bit of dough and a few cookie cutters. Every block has a minimum of one 7/11, one family mart, 2 dentists, 3 massage parlors, one gold shop,  one travel agent, 5 guest houses or hotels, one optician and 1 clinic.  If you live in Pattaya proper you really never need to leave the block you live on because everything you need is there including at least two Thai restaurants and two bars.

If you’ve just realized you are running low on cigarettes and have just passed a 7/11 there is no reason to stop because there is one just ahead of you too, not to mention the family mart just across the street. The convenience stores I can almost understand…they’re conveniantly everywhere you might need one and I have never seen one empty.

I wonder though how some of these businesses make it or what they were thinking when they decided to open shop right next door to a competitor. Take, for instance, the three optical shops in the top picture. Having two competing optical shops next to each other is bad enough but to then open yet another one to make it three is absurd, especially when two of the shops are the same exact franchise!

I’ve never seen a town with so many convenient stores, dentists and hotels in my life. Then again that’s part of Pattaya’s charm and in a way that’s the Thai way, to make sure you are comfortable and have everything you need whenever you need it. No need to worry about choices, just take it as it comes and as you need.

I try not to think about how they stay in business any more when I walk into the opticians place. By the time I get to the counter the beautiful optometrist and her two lovely assistants have already greeted me with a cold glass of orange juice and a smile and I start wondering why more places aren’t like this,

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A Golliwog is a character from English literature written in the late 19th century by the author Florence Kate Upton. The Golliwog was based on a black faced minstrel doll she had found in an attic as a child. The character in the books was a rag doll and eventually the Golliwog caught on as a children’s toy. The dolls were very popular in Great Britain and also in America up until the 1960’s or so. They were seen as completely appropriate to give to a child, just as appropriate as giving a child a teddy bear.

Of course over time the Golliwog took on negative stereotypes and the word itself became derogatory slang towards black people. Just like the book  Little Black Sambo took on new meanings in American culture and changed the way we see racism today. There are still those that argue both sides off the coin as both of these were literary works that really had nothing to do with racism but became racist icons by the use of the words Sambo and Golliwog.

In the politically correct world of the 21st century you would be hard pressed to find Golliwog’s or Little Black Sambo books easily in America or Britain but if you are headed to Thailand you’ll find plenty of Golliwog’s.

The Thai’s seem to have a facination devoid of racial beliefs with these dolls. You’ll see them in miniature form dangling from cell phones or in larger form being dragged around and loved by their miniature owners. Sometimes you can even find them as big as a man so you can have your picture taken with them. And you can almost always find them in A Thai garden if you look long enough.

I’ve heard all manner of reaction to the Golliwogs found in Thailand from absolute disgust to sincere indifference. There is no doubt that these dolls will always raise a reaction from the western tourists as we have all been subjected to political correctness now for well over two decades. What I find odd is the reaction towards Thai’s. The Thai’s don’t see them as racial idols and they certainly don’t use the term Golliwog in a racially derogatory manner.  I’m sure the more pure among us may think that it is insensitive of the Thai’s because this is the 21st century and everyone should be sensitive of racism.

Being that there are no black people in Thailand except for the visitors I don’t see how it could be a racial thing but that is just my opinion. There are other examples such as the old Darkie toothpaste which used a caricature of a man in black face in their advertising, or the the Black Man mops. Truthfully I don’t see either as racially motivated either. Darkie did eventually change the name to Darlie and got rid of the black faced advertising though.

Oddly enough there is very real racism that goes on in Thailand which is Thai against Thai. This racism is color based and stems from some Thai’s being very light skinned and some being very dark skinned which borderlines being black. Although that racism exists I have never heard either side utter a bad word against an actual black person as a matter of fact most Thai’s I’ve heard refer to a black person as chocolate  and I have yet to meet a Thai that doesn’t love chocolate.

I guess the real question here is do we as politically correct westerners have the right to force our opinions and beliefs on Thai society because of our righteous indignation when the Thai’s themselves have never tied racism to these things. Or is it upsetting to most western tourists not because of the perceived racism but because the perceived guilt that has been programed into us over the last few decades?

What do you think?

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Maybe I should qualify that title…Pattaya is H1N1 free, So says Chonburi Governor  Senee Jittakasem. Apparently he and an entourage of health officials have inspected various venues around Pattaya and they are confident the city is completely virus free.

Alright, it’s bad enough that the WHO and CDC have fallen for their own fear mongering about the swine flu that will obviously kill most of the world population by the end of the year, but I think Governor Jittakasem has taken much too lax a stand.

The swine flu, H1N1 for those paranoid pig farmers out there,  has taken less lives world wide than those taken in Thailand during Songkran 2008, during which 471 people were killed and 4,332 were injured during the 7 days of festivities. That is in 7 days people.

It’s bad enough that the CDC and WHO are fear mongering people around the world into a state of panic, but to declare a city completely free of the virus is swinging to the opposite extreme.

People around the world should be aware that H1N1 exists and if they think they have come into contact with it they should take all precautions. If you are someplace, like Pattaya, and you are being told it is completely virus free then you should realize that stupid people exist everywhere in the world. Obviously there is no way to declare any city virus free in any situation. Although misguided it’s easy to reason out why this statement has been made.

Pattaya relies heavily on tourist dollars and in the midst of the slow season during the worst economic downturn in recent history when the World Health Organization has declared a new pandemic and the virus has made it to your country and city, it only makes sense to tell people it’s all gone. How’s that for a run on sentence!

Thailand has many more serious issues that the WHO and Thai officials should be dealing with. The death rate on Thai roads is atrocious, the over prescription of antibiotics country wide is alarming and there are some really nasty flesh eating diseases running rampant throughout rural Thailand. H1N1 is certainly something to think about but it hardly rates the media attention it has received. Likewise, the virus shouldn’t be dismissed out of hand either.

My favorite quote from the city fathers:

“There was also a call made to the entertainment industry to properly clean their venues, which are vulnerable to spread of the virus”

I’ve been in a lot of those venue’s and I’m bettin not much can live in some of those places and in others there is probably stuff growing there that could kill Godzilla!

If tourism is down and you need to do something have a festival or an eating contest…better yet have a wet t-shirt contest, it is Pattaya we’re talking about. Whatever you do don’t be a politician and declare your city to be the only virus free city in the world. It tends to make you look like a shmuck.

One thing is for sure…if my girl finds out I posted that picture of her above I won’t have to worry about any nasty virus’s killing me.

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With the recent birth of a baby Panda cub to Lin Hui and Xuang Xuang at Chiang Mai zoo in Bangkok everyone in Thailand has had Pandas on their mind. This has upset local Elephant keepers at the Ayutthaya-Elephant Kraal.

With announcements of a 20 million baht snow house being built for the Panda family the keepers are wondering just why Thailand has forgotten that the Elephant is their national symbol.

Aside from speaking up about the problem the Elephant keepers at the Ayutthaya-Elephant Kraal have taken it one step further by painting five of  their elephants to look like Pandas. This attention grabbing effort seems to be doing the job as Thai people are not only noticing but applauding their efforts. Although rumor has it some Panda lovers are slightly irked.

The keepers were quick to let everyone know that the paint was only water colors but I for one hope that these images make a lasting impression long after the paint has been washed off. Much still needs to be done to protect Thailand’s national treasure and make sure they will always be safe and well treated in the kingdom.

It may be a publicity stunt but I have to say that the Elephant Pandas are much cuter than their Chinese friends currently in the spotlight.

Photo’s courtesy AFP/Getty & Reuters

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I usually try to stay out of trouble when in Thailand, blend in and become as Thai as possible. Unfortunately the Thai’s around me seem to sense this and do whatever they can to draw the attention of the Thai police!

This past trip I had two memorable experiences with the boys in brown that could have come straight out of a Benny Hill skit. My first experience happened on the way to Damnoen Saduak floating market. The taxi driver picked me up at the appointed time and we were making very good time due to very little traffic, that should have been the first sign.

About 40 kilometers from our destination, and as soon as I thought this was going too smooth, we came upon a Thai police checkpoint. There was no question in my mind that we wouldn’t get pulled over and of course I was right. As the taxi driver spoke to 3 police officers and handed them all of his papers I reasoned that he would be getting at least two fines. One fine for having a passenger and not using the meter and another for speeding. I was correct on both points.

Normally that would be the end of the story and we would be on our way, but this is Thailand and I was involved so it’s never that easy. No, easy would have been the taxi driver getting back in and us driving away,  the taxi driver had other plans. You see, when we pulled over we parked in the mud along the highway so when the taxi driver  took off a little too anxiously he shot mud 20 feet backwards against another drivers van who had been pulled over and over two very pissed off policemen. After another 15 minutes of brow beating by the police, an old man peddling by recounting what he saw and a few more fines we were back on our way.

The second incident happened on the last day of Songkran when we were heading back to Mukdahan from Nakhon Phanome after the sun had gone down. Naturally we came upon another police checkpoint but surely this would be a no brainer as my girl was driving, no one was drinking and the stars were aligned…Wrong!

The first inkling I had that this would be a problem is when my girl said “uh-oh”. The last time I heard her say that was two days earlier when we were approaching a police checkpoint in That Phanome, little brother was driving and he apparently no longer has a license due to a drinking and driving arrest. We averted the law that time with a very quick turn off to a side street and a change of drivers.  This time the uh-oh was because my girls license expired the day before…uh-oh!

After much animated talking between the police officer and my girl a compromise was reached and the police officer walked away. A few moments later the officer returned with a very drunk old man and more animated talking ensued to which the old Thai man just nodded and burped.  The next thing I knew the old man was in the back of the truck and we were back on our way.

Confused? I was too, especially when I heard the explanation. Apparently on the last day of Songkran many police checkpoints were rewarding good drivers by handing out free iced drinks and this was one of those checkpoints. Of course while rewarding the drivers with a nice cool drink they are checking to see if they have the proper papers and also to see if they had been drinking.

Being the good Thai that my girl is she immediately confessed to having an expired license before the police officer even asked for it. Not that it mattered because the police officer didn’t care and wouldn’t have cared if she was wanted for armed robbery, because he had a problem of his own. You see, the old man the police officer pawned off on us had apparently walked into his checkpoint a few hours before our arrival and was pestering the hell out of the police. They couldn’t take him home because he didn’t know where he lived and he couldn’t walk. We didn’t get a free drink…we got a free drunk!

Problem solved…for the police officer anyway. We spent the next two hours trying to find the old mans home. The next day I made sure someone got her license renewed.

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As I mentioned in an earlier post I was lucky enough to spend the Thai New Year, known as Songkran, in 4 different provinces. I spent the first day of Songkran in Pattaya on soi Diana playing with all the bar girls and the subsequent days I spent in Mukdahan, That Phanom and Nakhon Phanom.

For those of you not in the know Songkran is basically the worlds largest water fight that takes place throughout the entire country of Thailand for 3 straight days ( 5 or more days in Pattaya). You’ll be assaulted with squirt guns, hoses, water sticks and bowls of water. Aside from the water you will have baby powder smeared on your cheeks and dumped on your head. Sometimes large blocks of ice are used to chill the water used and depending on where you are the water and powder may be dyed different colors as well as scented. Cold green colored water and mentholated baby powder happen to be my kryptonite! I did enjoy the jasmine scented water I ran into here and there though.

Songkran in pattaya is what you would expect, many falangs and bar girls having fun. Unfortunately I witnessed a few incidents where some falangs didn’t want to play and became irate at getting wet. Why would you be out and about during Songkran if you didn’t want to get wet? One occasion I witnessed a very old falang hit a Thai girl for squirting him. The only reason he wasn’t beaten to death on the spot was due to the fact that he is well known in the area and apparently has a mental disorder. For the most part it was a great time getting soaked and powdered.

Mukdahan was quite a different story. Although it is a nice sized city most of the action took place on the side roads and on the roads leading out of the city. This of course necessitated a truck to drive around in and a few good sized barrels filled with water. When the water ran out we just stopped at someones house or a water station for a refill. We spent 12 hours driving around throwing water between Mukdahan and That Phanom, stopping occasionally for food and water.

One thing that caught my eye were the many colorful stands on the rural roads decorated in red and yellow selling some sort of clay pots. It wasn’t long before I was offered a drink from one of these clay pots that made everything very clear. It seems the Thai’s in rural Thailand make their own Thai whiskey just for Songkran and everyone and their brother sells it on the roadside. Now I know why there are so many drunk driving deaths in Issan during Songkran. I have to admit though, it was pretty good hooch.

The last day of Songkran was spent in Nakhon Phanom driving through the side streets of the city and along the scenic Mekong where the majority of revelers congregated. There were at least a thousand trucks driving through the city and up the road that paralleled the Mekong. Along the Mekong there were also three concert areas as well as many stalls set up for merchants and traditional Songkran dancing and music

I’d have to say Nakhon Phanom won me over hands down for being the best Songkran experience. Everyone was extremely friendly and sharing everything from beer and food to their water and powder of course. I think the best part was hanging out with Pooki’s family…especially her beautiful little girl Fa.

You may not like huge water fights but I think everyone should take part in Songkran at least once in their lifetime.

If you want to see what it all looked like I’ve added over 600 pictures of my Songkran experience to the gallery Songkran 2009

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When all else fails to prop up falling tourist numbers…create a new drink. Yes, you read that right, the Thailand Tourist Authority has unveiled a new Thailand drink that they are hoping will draw tourists to Thailand. Only one problem that I see…well maybe 2. Firstly the drink sounds vaguely disgusting and secondly they gave away the exact ingredients so if you are so inclined you can stay home and drink it.

The Tourism Authority of Thailand unveiled the drink Thursday, calling it “Thailand in a glass – the new punch in Thai tourism.”

The cocktail consists of a shot of vodka, coconut liqueur, a dash of chili pepper and sugar, lime juice, a few slivers of lemongrass and ginger – shaken not stirred, then strained into a glass – with ice and soda water.

I would love to have been a fly on the wall at this meeting. I mean, of all the things Thailand can do to get the tourist numbers up the best plan is a new Thailand drink? Heres a novel idea, how about advertising? I’ve never once seen an ad in print or on television in America for Thailand vacations…not even a radio ad heard.

Thailand is one of the best vacation bargains in the world even during the global economic meltdown. The largest expence with a Thailand vacation is the plane ticket!

When I tell people about Thailand without fail I always hear ” isn’t Thailand a third world country”? No, it’s not. Technically it has emerging nation status…that means you can get your Starbucks while feeding your fat ass on McDonald’s, Burger King or KFC. If you explain to Americans that Thailand is a cheap vacation and they can still get fat then it’s a win win and tourism numbers will jump.

Or how about this. Address a mango to every vegetarian in America? Just put a small note saying “Come to Thailand”. UFC is huge in America, well it’s huge with wrestling fans. Make 30 second commercials touting Muay Thai boxing and run them during UFC fights. You can even show the Muay Thai boxers relaxing after a bout whilst partaking of Thailand’s new drink…or not…probably not.

Then there is always Andrew Zimmer. You know,  the guy that eats all the nasty food from around the world. It’s perfect, he’s been to Thailand and featured it’s dishes on his show. Call up Andrew and coax him back to Thailand with all manner of disgusting culinary treats. Pay him for his time and buy multiple ad spots for every airing of the show. You can show people playing on the beach, playing golf, visiting historic sights and checking out ancient temples. And if you like you can even have a spot showcasing all the great Thai food…maybe even some of the disgusting things like Zimmer eats…you know, like the new Thai drink.

If I was the person that created the Mai Thai I’d be pissed…

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His Majesty King  Bhumibol Adulyadej is known for many things, most notably being the longest reigning Monarch alive. His public works in rural Thailand as well as his national work has helped Thailand find it’s way into the 21st century.

What a lot of people don’t know about the beloved Thai king is his passion for music. His Majesty King  Bhumibol is an accomplished jazz/blues musician that has played his sax with renowned jazz legends such as Benny Goodman, Stan Getz, Lionel Hampton and Benny Carter. He also jams, as much as time permits these days, with local musicians in Thailand.

The king began his musical studies while at school in Switzerland. Originally playing the trumpet then switching to the saxophone when his mother thought the trumpet to be too strenuous for him.  1946 would be a very good year for the King, not only did he ascend to the throne of Thailand but he also wrote and published  Candlelight Blues,  Love at Sundown and Falling rain which became very popular works.

The king has composed over 48 songs since ascending the throne. He’s penned Waltz’s, Fox Trot’s, patriotic anthems and even a few Alma Maters for several Thai universities. During a speech in the early 1980’s the king described what it was like to write one of his more popular songs ” Falling Rain”.

I became inspired while I was listening to music on the radio,” he said. “I felt the music in my head sounded better, so I turned off the radio and scribbled it down on a piece of paper. I remember that it was in May. People liked that song. They said it was beautiful. I felt overjoyed.

After becoming king he started a new band that played regularly at the palace. In time he set up a public radio station where he and his 14 piece band would perform live every Friday for the public. One of the Kings oldest friends and musical partners,  Manrat Srikaranonda,  describes the King’s style as more of a dixieland or New Orleans style. Manrat concedes that these days they don’t play as much at the palace anymore but they still have regular jam sessions at the King’s summer palace.

In 1964, the Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts in Vienna named the king an honorary member,  the first Asian composer to be granted the honor. In 1996 Les Brown and his band of renown recorded several of the Thai King’s compositions but under agreement they can only be played in Thailand. Les Brown himself thought the King was an extraordinary musician saying, “I’m sure if he didn’t have the job he has now, he’d be successful as a bandleader”. Lionel Hampton once said of the King ” He is simply the coolest king in the land”.

Of course this all sounds great but I can hear you asking ” What about the music?”. After searching around for a bit I found the piece below composed in 1946 by the King entitled “H.M. Blues”. The piece is performed by Per-Olav Kindgren and I think it shows that the King of Thailand would have been just as well known as a musician as he is king if circumstances would have permitted. Also below is ” Candelight Blues”, “Love at Sundown” and a short documentary on the Kings music.

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While working on various things this weekend in preparation of next months trip to Thailand Iv’e been going through a lot of pictures. I can look at the pictures I’ve taken and relive where I’ve been and the experiences I’ve had and figure out where I want to go and the experiences I want to have.

Well, whenever I go through all the pictures I always run across the pictures in this post and I can’t help but laugh. Hell, I think everyone should have the deluxe fine dining experience at the Shell Station complete with candlelight at the pumps!

These were among the very first pictures I ever took in Thailand when I took the river boat taxi to the end and just got lost in the city, also some of the first pictures I published in this blog. Even though they always make me smile they also remind me how cool it is to explore the world around you, get lost in it,  and take it all in. That’s one of the reasons I love Thailand…you never know whats next.

Hopefully someone will see this and realize that life isn’t all about work, commitments and bills…life should be lived and you should explore the world around you even if it’s just down the street. Take the first step and I guarantee it will change how you think about life.

I’m going exploring…how bout you?

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With the election for Governor of Bangkok less than two weeks away one candidate, Leena Jangjanya, took to the canals of Bangkok last week to speak about the lack of clean water available to the people. While standing on a river taxi she slipped and fell into the murky waters up to her waist. While holding on she could be heard screaming ” it stinks so bad” instead of help. After seeing the video it seemed more like a staged political stunt from a candidate destined to lose.

The next day she held a press conference to speak about the previous days event and show the press the rashes that she had gotten from the dirty water. Instead of talking about the terrible state of the canals which have raw sewage and trash dumped into them she thought another campaign stunt was necessary.

Her unfortunate campaign manager, Thirasak Sitanont, took to the dirty waters of the canal and pretended to bathe. All the while the current was pulling him farther from shore. He could be seen waving and calling for help but campaign staff, onlookers and the candidate herself thought it was all part of the show. He soon disappeared from sight. One hour later rescue workers found his body.

Thirasak Sitanont is survived by his wife who is seven months pregnant.  Leena Jangjanya has suspended her campaign for governor to help with funeral arrangements saying “If I were to continue to campaign after his death, I would be no better than an animal”

And you thought the American election was crazy…

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After the recent earthquake in China a 19 year old college student  wanted to do her part to help out. So she went to the internet and made her appeal which was slightly better than that of other organizations. You see,  a very attractive 19 year old Chinese girl promised that with every dollar sent to her she would remove more of her clothes!

Apparently, according to the Bangkok Post , the Thai police have been monitoring the situation because they are afraid other websites of it’s kind will pop up or be re-created in Thailand. In Thailand it is against the law to distribute or display nude pictures and those convicted of the law face up to five years in jail and up to 100,000 baht in fines.

I’m sure the Thai police have been diligent in their quest to make sure this doesn’t show up in Thailand…I would even bet they are making notes in the hopes that one day attractive Chinese girls will come to Thailand so they can arrest them for posting nudes of themselves. It’s not like there are any nude Thai girls running around Thailand. Thai girls or Chinese girls I’m sure the police are watching you.

Well, two things are certain. This Chinese girl is getting naked on the internet and the Thai police are very interested in her. That’s a good thing because that will keep all the girls on Soi Cowboy dancing naked without fear of a police raid. Only in Thailand.

I haven’t been able to find her actual blog yet but here are two Chinese sites referencing her work:

BBS. Ganji

Oddfish.cn

Note: no actual nudity is shown in this clip other than bare back, shoulders and legs…a shame really.

Update: Apparently she has never gotten nude just taken suggestive photographs which is fine by me as she is a very beautiful lady.

It surprises me still that the Thai Authorities have bothered with this investigation when they have their own problems with the sex industry in Thailand. Not only are men and women available in the red light districts of Bangkok and Pattaya there is also many internet sites catering to any sexual persuasion. Until Thailand cleans up it’s political system and starts offering a quality education to all including rural Thai’s then they will have a problem.

Thai girls, Chinese girls there really is no difference. Whether they are showing what they have on the internet or the bars of Bangkok and Pattaya it’s all the same thing. Thai bar girls have the advantage at least since it’s their own country so I doubt they are concerned with naked Chinese women on the net, But I would bet a few enterprising Thai ladies are using this example to help their own incomes.

For those of you that don’t know it is against the law to post nude photos on the web in Thailand. Seems odd considering they turn an eye to places like Soi Cowboy, Nana Plaza, Patpong and of course Pattaya.

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