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Anyone who has been to Thailand has most likely noticed this before, a ten baht coin stuck in the ear of a Thai girl. They don’t all do it but I suspect most have done it at least a few times.

While Mo and I were at the local Monday/Friday market the other day she got change for a 20 baht note and quickly stuffed the coin in her ear, so, I snapped a quick pic and laughed a bit. I would think a lot of foreigners may have the same reaction but when you think about it people the world around use their ears in very similar fashions. The ears also make great pen holders or a nice place to keep that cigarette waiting for a smoke break.

Anyway I thought I would share this pic with those of you that may have never seen it before.

Next up I’ll take you up into the mountains of Petchaboon to see a beautiful mountain top Wat that is strung out through a series of caves.

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The Ladies of Songkran Day 3

I was so tired from day one of Songkran that I took day 2 off to recuperate. Day 3 I was ready for action again and found it all over town. I started on soi Dianna and headed to Second road after that. Eventually I found myself doing a loop through Soi’s 7 & 8 with Beach road as another distraction.

Songkran day 3 was much more active and Soi  7 was completely out of control with at least 3000 people on the Soi in the bars and crowding the street. While taking pictures of the general festivities is fun I really needed a theme today…but what?

There will most assuredly be a much more retrospective look at the ladies of Songkran 2011 but I couldn’t resist a teaser. So, Lets get on with the show shall we…

The Ladies of Songkran Day 3

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Thai Women

Som Tam, a spicy papaya salad, can be found all over Thailand and is a staple food of all good Thai women. While the ingredients may change a little from vendor to vendor and the spiciness can be dialed up or down, you can generally get a familiar dish of som tam anytime night or day anywhere in the Kingdom. Thai women and som tam go hand in hand and actually som tam is pretty much the perfect metaphor for a Thai woman.

Much like their som tam counterpart Thai women can be sweet, sour and most definitely spicy. While I don’t care for som tam so much myself I have eaten enough to make the needed comparisons to Thai women. I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot lately, Thai women that is, and the awful plight I find myself in these days.

Rick and I have had this conversation about Thai women and relationships many times. Knowing what you are looking for is a start but it’s also like looking for a needle in the haystack and in Pattaya that haystack is huge and sometimes hiding things. There is also the looking for love in all the wrong places part, although lately I haven’t been looking.

Being a single man in Thailand definitely has it’s advantages, and, being an older single man in Thailand is even better. Unlike their Western counterpart, Thai women don’t put much weight on age differences as other things such as security and family are more important. While I’m not really too old at 45 my age age definitely has given me an advantage. Young men may look good but they are a risky endeavor to a Thai women.

Herein lies my problem, I’m a commodity it would seem. For some reason I am very attractive to many Thai women. Personally I think most men are ugly, including myself, but what do I know, I like women anyway. I am always being told by Thai women that I am law mak mak ( very handsome man ), evidently it has something to do with the shape of my face and how my hair compliments it…I usually utter, baak wan ( sweet mouth ) and move the conversation along but recently those sentiments have seemed sincere.

Just recently I’ve met 3 Thai women that fulfill all my requirements, tick all the right boxes if you will. I’m not looking for much but someone I am comfortable with and enjoy spending time with. These 3 Thai women range in age from 23 to 36 and each of them has surprised me in different ways. They all have a good command of the English language and don’t laugh at me too much when I butcher the Thai language. They are all very attractive, but that is a subjective thing, and they all have a worry that I might be a Jao Chuu ( butterfly).

Each has asked me sincerely why a handsome man such as myself has lived in Thailand for seven months and doesn’t have a girlfriend. my first response is usually to question their eyesight. The real fact is I haven’t found the right lady yet and this is what I tell them. None of the 3 ladies I have been seeing seem typically Thai to me in many ways. The oldest absolutely loves Western food and reading books, she doesn’t even own a T.V. The Youngest doesn’t care for pop music a bit, she would much rather listen to the Blues or Jazz and she absolutely adores Roy Orbison. The middle one is extremely conservative, so much so that I thought our first date was the last as she barely spoke, she also doesn’t care for spicy food. Not all Thai women are alike and I should never have assumed they were.

If I were living in America and I met similar ladies I’m not so sure they would even give me the time of day, but here in Thailand it is a much different story. It could be a money and security thing but I’m relatively certain they all know I’m not rich. While I’m not Kii Niow ( stingy) I’m certainly not one to splurge.

Decisions, decisions. This dating thing isn’t easy in Thailand and if I’m not careful the Jao Chuu monicker could stick.

For now the 23 year old is in the lead, normally that would be way too young for me but any woman who not only knows who Stevie Ray Vaughan is but can also sing you any of his songs definitely deserves a second and third look, doesn’t hurt that shes adorable either and loves to cuddle. Then again there is much to be said for the other 2 Thai women as well. This presents the even bigger problem which is the fact that I find most Thai women to be very attractive and I’m an incredible flirt.

One thing is for sure, Thai women are beautiful just take a look at the Thai Women Gallery if you don’t believe me.

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Normally dogs and cats will shed in the spring and summer to thin out their coats but if it’s an indoor pet that trend usually reverses and they shed in the winter time because increased heat in the house while in the summertime they grow thicker hair due to continued air conditioner usage. At least that’s how it worked with my cats and seemingly my Thai girls are no different.

Just yesterday I swept out the whole condo and mopped, no big deal the place is small, but when I finished sweeping I had a pile of hair big enough to make a new rug for Donald Trump. You might be thinking I should sweep more often but I swear I just swept the day before!

I keep looking for bald spots on the girl but I can’t find any anywhere and on the days when her sister or other friends stop by the problem is only compounded. Sweeping up all the hair isn’t a problem though but the shower drain is another matter. In less than a month I have had to pour drain cleaner down the drain twice to clear the hair clogs out! I have to be fair though it’s not all her hair, it seems that every Thai woman I know stops by and uses my shower.

Here’s the thing though,  all Thai women wear a shower cap when they take a shower. So, just how in the hell does this hair escape and clog my drain?

I’ve come to realize that the hair shedding isn’t so much a cooling mechanism, early balding or rough hair treatment it’s actually a defense and early warning system. The other day Ying stopped by with her sister and her best friend Neung and as soon as she walked in the door she said you had lady here. It’s true, A friend had stopped by and the property manager ( a female ) had been in the condo, but how the hell did she know?

By the single hair on the floor…

Now, I’m no rocket scientist but there is no way in hell she could distinguish that hair from any other hair on the floor as they are all approximately the same size and color. If my friend Rin stopped by that would be a different story as her hair is past her knees in length and coal black, but the hairs on the floor were all a few inches to 2 feet long and brownish black.

I don’t think it matters though because the statement ” you have lady…hair not mine” isn’t so much an accusatory statement of fact as it is a guess to try and slip you up into admitting you have had a lady over. No problem for me because I always answer “yes, I had lady over…and you all shed like dogs!”.

I’m seriously considering buying a bunch of hairnets and putting them in a basket by the door with a sign that reads “hairnets must be worn by Thai women at all times”…then again, long hair is sexy, Thai women are sexy and hair nets decidedly not.

Evidence Thai women have been around

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Your average Asian woman is a delicate flower,  with delicate features that compliment her usually delicate frame. Small hands, small feet, small ears and almost always small breasts. Thai women, being Asian,  are no different in this regard and the biggest thing you’re most likely to ever notice on a Thai woman is her smile.

As with most women if you talk to a Thai woman long enough you’ll find she isn’t happy or satisfied with certain of her body features. Where her Western counterpart wants darker skin, perkier breasts,  smaller bodies and bigger eyes and lips the Thai woman wants lighter skin, smaller noses, thinner lips and larger breasts…much larger breasts.

Like most men who travel to Asia, I am attracted to Asian women and have been ever since I can remember. Their small delicate features definitely play a part in that attraction I suppose and I don’t have a problem with small breasts, as a matter of fact I prefer small breasts. I’ve never seen the attraction of large breasts but then again I’ve always been more of an ass man,  so what do I know.

Large breasts will make any woman stand out in a crowd but large breasts on a Thai woman, or ladyboy for that matter,  is definitely something quite hard to dismiss. Being with a Thai woman I don’t get smacked for looking, more often than not it is something that is pointed out to me by my Thai girl that has an unhealthy fascination with large breasts.

In just about every situation that I have been with Thai women and a surgically enhanced model enters the room I always hear the same thing, ” Oh look, isn’t she beautiful”, “She has big milk, very lovely” or something else in the same vein of adulation for the big breasted girl who just toppled over into the room. In more than a few of those cases I wondered just how in the hell a woman that tiny with huge breasts was defying physics and not constantly falling flat on her face boobs.

More often than not these surgically enhanced creatures have a falang boyfriend or husband who also like big breasts and more than a few work or have worked in the night life industry and see large breasts as merely a business expense that will help better their bottom line. Either way some one has shelled out 50-80 thousand baht for a new set of knockers and usually everyone involved in the silicone transaction is more than satisfied with the results.

I was surprised my first trip up country to see quite a few Thai women with enhanced front ends, although I shouldn’t have been. It still bothers me though, I mean, you wouldn’t change the Mona Lisa by painting a bigger smile on her…would you? I may be in the minority on this issue but I feel like there really needs to be a Save the Small Breast Foundation set up somewhere to educate Thai women on their natural beauty.

Of course this rant comes on the heels of a conversation I had with my girl the other night regarding said silicone seductiveness that has been, once again,  brought to my attention. You see, she has many old school friends that she grew up with that have  ended up in falang relationships and almost half of them have had breast implants in the past 2 years. Invariably when another friend shows up in Nakhon Phanom or Mukdahan I get the phone call and the following conversation takes place.

Pookie: Hi Teelac, how are you? I have something to ask you.

Me: Good Teelac, what is it you want to ask?

Pookie: Teelac, I want big milk…you can do?

Me: Yes Teelac, I can do…do you need a gallon or will a half gallon be okay?

Pookie: Teelac! You know I mean big nom. My friend come today and she get…very beautiful Teelac I want to be beautiful too.

Me: Teelac you are already beautiful and I love your small nom.

Pookie: But Teelac I will look much better and clothes will look very very good on me.

Me: Teelac you don’t need and besides big nom cost 50 thousand baht easy,  then you need all new bra and shirts.

Pookie: Yes Teelac, new clothes make me look more beautiful. You can do?

Me: Okay Teelac I’ll tell you what…I’ll buy one big nom and if everything works out ok we can talk about the second one in a year or so.

Pookie: Teelac!!! One no good! …need two.

Me: We’re negotiating Teelac. You like large nom and I like small nom. This way we are both happy.

Pookie: grrrrrr

Me: You should have that cold looked at Teelac, you sound a lil horse…

And the conversation is put away for another rainy day when the next friend comes back to town sporting a  brand new set of silicone breasts that will mesmerize all the village girls into seeing a more seductive silicone future.

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More Pictures can be found in the Thai Girls Gallery.

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