How to get a foreign man a guide for Thai women
By Talen on Sep 30, 2007 in Thai Culture, Thai life
Compared to a Thai man who are thin and taught most foreign men who come to Thailand to seek out the beautiful women are older, flabbier, and sometimes far from good looking but they have one thing going for them…Money!
Now there is even a self help book out to help these poor Thai ladies snare a foreign man and its called Foreign Boyfriend, Foreign Husband and it’s meant to help Thai women get a better life.
Foreign Boyfriend, Foreign Husband, with chapters written by Thai women already married to “farang”, or foreigners, sells a Cinderella-style dream to young Thai women hoping for a passport to a better life.
The book is packed with tips on dating, kissing, sexual positions, weddings, living abroad and bringing up children.
An early chapter gives basic advice on how to meet your foreign man: hang out in a bar, hotel or department store, be alone, wear a sexy dress, make eye contact, and, if you get the chance, tell a funny story.An early chapter gives basic advice on how to meet your foreign man.
Once you’ve found your boyfriend, follow these rules to make him fall in love and marry you: always look good, have sex with him whenever he asks, don’t be jealous of other women, don’t be too demanding and do all the housework.
A certain stigma has always been attached to poor Thai women marrying foreigners. At worst it is seen as an extension of a red-light transaction, an exchange of youth and beauty for money and security.
But the book portrays a more romantic vision. Western men, it says, are kind and respectful and less likely to have the bad habits sometimes associated with Thai men, which include drinking, adultery and violence.
“Thai men may have sweet words,” it says, “but they want to sleep with your sister too.” Unfortunately most of the foreign men that come to Thailand will want to sleep with your sister too…preferably you and your sister at the same time.
While your foreign man may be years — even decades — older than you, see that as a good thing. “An old man is very kind. An old man has more money. An old man is faithful,” the guide says.
Foreigners are much more likely to accept a divorcee or widow, it claims, women not considered ideal wives in traditional Thai society.
“We don’t believe that marrying a farang (foreigner) can make our dreams come true,” she said. “We want more in life.”The book is aimed at impressionable, uneducated women and would be seen as a joke by many Thai women
But in rural Thailand, finding a foreign husband is a common aspiration for young women. In the poor northeast, an influx of more than 15,000 foreign men has brought an economic windfall and a welcome alternative to back-breaking work in the paddy fields.
“Foreign men aren’t handsome, but they have more money,”
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my husband is a farang and i am thai. my husband is not old and he is very handsome! not all thai ladies from the northeast(isaan) region are looking for a farang boyfriend. i marry my husband because i love him and not for his money
I am sorry, but for you to try to lump all Thai-farang marriages this way it pretty pathetic. I know many Thais, and know a few who marry poor farang because they, gasp, love each other. Maybe this book is written in a demeaning manner, and I would agree that a 50 year old farang with a 25 year old Thai is horrible. Please do not lump all relationships together this way though.
I would have enjoyed this review except for the decidedly anti-farang male slant. I have been there 5 times, and never have done what the author assumes all farang behavior must be. I go there to visit Thai friends and enjoy their culture, though I believe Talen doesn’t know we exist. “Unfortunately most of the foreign men that come to Thailand will want to sleep with your sister too…preferably you and your sister at the same time”, I believe that sums up her view.
Well these generalizations just will not subside
It seems if you’re a Thai male then you are probably an alcoholic wife beater and perpetual womanizer.
If you are a farang male then you are desperate so and so who cannot get a female partner in your own country so you seek out a poor desperate lady to rescue with your limitless supply of cash.
I and my partner bust this whole perspective open and exposed. I have a good career, I do actually possess good looks (I add this in the context of the post) and was never without female attention in the UK or any country I have traveled to.
My partner is gorgeous, university educated holds a good job, is intelligent, contemporary minded and…..comes from a family with way more wealth then I am ever likely to accumulate myself.
So my hope is this…the world is changing fast thanks to a younger generation which consists of Thai females becoming career minded and young eligible farang males (and Thai males for that matter getting it together with farang females).
The old stereo types of a ‘handsome’ 25 stone farang hugging a bottle of Singha in nana will hopefully become a ‘once was’ sight – but it seems that old bleeding deacons die hard!
Let’s raise a glass to the future.
I agree the generalizations never seem to cease just keep in mind it’s not a falang who wrote the book but a Thai woman.
The review wasn’t anti anything…the words are those of the author…a Thai female residing in Thailand.
I do know that the other side of the coin exists and I am on that side of the coin.
Granted that a Thai woman wrote this Talen, I just take issue with you characterizing Farang men as “Unfortunately most of the foreign men that come to Thailand will want to sleep with your sister too…preferably you and your sister at the same time”. I believe that was your quote, was it not? Like I said, I think the book is sad as well, I just chafe at western women thinking the only reason a western man would marry a Thai woman or even go to Thailand is sex. I have many Thai friends and try to see them as often as possible, and believe it or not, have never been to a bar or been with a Thai woman.
Seriously, the quotes in the article from the book were fine, and you could have discussed them. Are all of the negative views in the article from the book, or are some just your opinions? If they were all from the book, then I apologize.
Chris, The beginning of that quote was not mine but the second half ” preferably you and your sister at the same time” was mine….was meant tongue and cheek but I would say there is merit to the full quote.
The fact is that a helluva lot of foreign men are going to Thailand for one thing and have been for a long long time, that’s just a fact. That doesn’t mean all foreigners or all men but you can’t deny that this is happening.
It doesn’t matter why you go to Thailand, as soon as a western woman finds out you will be despised for it. Many men marry Thai women or go to Thailand for anything but sex but you’ll never convince a western woman otherwise.
I you have a Thai wife or girlfriend they all think it’s because Asian women are subservient and sexually charged 24/7. Western women have an inferiority complex when it comes to Asian women.
Aside from the “preferably you and your sister at the same time” comment I made the rest was from the book and or the Author. I wouldn’t say they were negative from the authors point of view either… she’s writing from experience and what she knows.
It pisses me off much worse when a pedophile is caught or being looked for in Thailand as then all of the media and moral majority point out that Thailand is a haven for sex with children which is hardly the case and of course any single male going there is looked at much more closely.
This would definitely make a great article especially if could incorporate a poll into it that would reach a good amount of women. I believe the majority of my readers are male and if search statistics are any measuring stick a lot of passerby’s are looking for ladyboys.
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