You Can Never Go Home Again
By Talen on Jul 2, 2010 in Commentary, Moving to Thailand
The old adage gets thrown around throughout your life and has come to mean different things to different people. When we are young and we first leave home to strike out on our own it’s usually the first time in our lives we hear the phrase and later in life when our parents have passed you tend to hear the phrase again. Each time the phrase takes on a new meaning. When we leave home young and ready to take on the world we know we can always go back home, Mom told us we could, much to dads chagrin. Even so part of us left that can never really go back, we felt the freedom of being on our own and we want more of that.
When your parents pass the phrase takes on a much different meaning, unless you or another family member will be living in the family home then chances are you really can’t ever go home again. Sure, you can drive up the street you used to live on and reminisce about old times with the family but chances are the people living there now won’t be too happy about you dropping in.
This week my family wrapped up the final piece of our parents estate by selling the family home. In a way it was quite a cathartic experience, going through all the old memories and getting the house ready for sale with my brother and sister was painful at times but it brought out much more smiles and laughter than I would have imagined.
Together we wrapped up the lives of two wonderful people that we will miss dearly, but they aren’t really gone and even though the house has been sold I realized that the old adage really isn’t true. You can go home; home isn’t just a house or a place where memories were made but the feelings and memories themselves. Home is in your heart and as long as you live and breathe you can always go home. Having family to share that with makes it all that much sweeter.
Looks like I have a lot of loose ends to wrap up in the next 6 weeks before the house closes. If my timing is right then that should put me in Thailand somewhere in the last two weeks of August. It will be sad of course to close this chapter in my life but I look forward to beginning a new chapter in a new land that I hope one day to comfortably call home.
Talen, how true that is. Actually reading your post made me feel a little sad to start with because although my mum is still alive she no longer lives in our family home. It was sold many years ago when my dad died and mum needed a smaller place.
I often walk by when I am visiting her, since she still lives in the same village. It hasn’t changed much and its not to hard to imagine 3 snotty nosed kids running round in the garden enjoying a loving home.
I wonder will I still return when mum has gone?
Mike | Jul 2, 2010 | Reply
Talen it’s going to be hard walking up that long path for the last time but at least you are moving your life forward. Your memories will stay forever (as long as you keep off the lao khao).
I hope you, your brother and sister will meet up on occasion in the future, be it in the States or Thailand (they’d have the better deal there)and you can think about all the great times you had together when you were kids and your parents were in their prime.
The lawn would make for a nice chip and putt golf green, did you ever do that.
Martyn | Jul 2, 2010 | Reply
Martyn, It’s funny you say that…My father sold golf course equipment for 40 years…the grass in the yard is bent grass…the same grass they use on greens.
Talen | Jul 2, 2010 | Reply
Mike, the 3 snotty kids sounds like my house. Even if you don’t return there it will always be with you.
Talen | Jul 2, 2010 | Reply
Talen, I looked at that long bit of green and immediately thought how much you must have hated to mow it when you were a kid. And all that trimming as well
You are embarking on a new chapter in your life. And how exciting it that?
New life. New adventures. No more snow.
Catherine | Jul 3, 2010 | Reply
Talen, a great post that got me and lots of others thinking, I know. Actually, I think you can never really leave home, whether you go back there or not. The real home, the memories, the experiences, they are always with you and influencing you one way or another. That will still be true, I’m sure, when you get to your new home.
Lawrence | Jul 5, 2010 | Reply
Cat…no snow is definitely a boon!
Cutting the yard wasn’t so bad…I think I may miss it just a little.
Talen | Jul 5, 2010 | Reply
Thanks Lawrence, I have a feeling I’ll be thinking of home while in Thailand but they will definitely be happy thoughts and not of all the past 2 years held.
Talen | Jul 5, 2010 | Reply
Nice thoughts, Talen. Since my parents died in the 1990s, I have less of an attachment to “home.” My two brothers and sister live far away from me at the moment. One inhabits the old home and it’s nice to go back just for the amazing peace and quiet. But I think the idea of “home” stays in my head. I can take it with me anytime. But as you will discover, another “home” is bound to occupy a greater piece of your mind. It’s one that’s filled with promise. Both “homes” can co-exist peacefully, I think. The new one is a living, breathing present. And I hope a fruitful one.
Looks like you’re going to land in Thailand before me. Hope to catch up with you and share a bit of our new “homes” in September-October.
Last, let me state to all lawn lovers everwhere, you can have your grass. Just don’t let your clippings blow on my deck and stone front yard, thank you.
SiamRick | Jul 6, 2010 | Reply