Each Journey Begins with One Single Step

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step – Lao-tzu

If you would have asked me 5 years ago ” where do you see yourself in 5 years?” , I wouldn’t have had an answer, at least not a good one. You see, I finally came to the realization 5 years ago that my mother was right, I needed to settle down and be normal. My Mother knew me better than that but turning 40 started me thinking more and more about security. I had a very good job, I had a beautiful 3 bedroom apt in an upscale neighborhood,  I went out and bought real furniture for the first time in my life. I had everything a normal person is supposed to have, and I became that normal person living that normal life.

Make your choice, Adventurous Stranger,
Strike the bell, and bide the danger,
Or wonder ’till it drives you mad,
What would have followed if you had
-C.S. Lewis

The next thing on my normal person list was a vacation. Everything was going particularly well in my life except for the fact I was working non stop,  sometimes 7 days a week and usually 12 hours a day, but thats what normal people do…right?

I hadn’t taken a vacation in over 5 years and that was only to a local destination so I started thinking in a global sense. I had always wanted to see South East Asia and after a few weeks of research Thailand was the destination. I didn’t know it at the time and I had no reason to think it would be a life changing decision, but it was. I still find it hard to describe how I felt when I first visited Thailand but as I have said more than a few times I definitely felt like a better version of myself, more aware of my surroundings and who I was.

All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware. — Martin Buber

It’s safe to say the mundane absurdity I was calling a normal life was a lie. I didn’t want the desperation of the 9-5 job, the mortgage, the wife and 2.3 kids and just why the hell did I have a complete dining room set when I never had anyone over for dinner? I deluded myself into thinking that this was the American dream and this is what I was supposed to be. Thailand changed my game plan.

When we get out of the glass bottle of our ego and when we escape like the squirrels in the cage of our personality and get into the forest again, we shall shiver with cold and fright. But things will happen to us so that we don’t know ourselves. Cool, unlying life will rush in.– D. H. Lawrence

I was back in the kingdom within 6 months and for an extended period of time. Sometime after my second trip and planning my third my mother looked at me with a serious smirk and asked me when I would be moving to Thailand,  I thought about it for a second and asked her where that came from, her answer? “I know you too well, and this is exactly something you would do, when you get it in your mind there is no stopping you”. She was right, and I knew it. As a matter of fact I knew it from my first trip to Thailand.

Without new experiences, something inside of us sleeps. The sleeper must awaken. -Frank Herbert

A lot of things have changed in my life over the past few years and the plan of living in Thailand has been put off and set aside but never forgotten. The normal life I was striving for was forgotten and with the economic crisis it was driven home to me that there is no such thing as a normal life and that life is for the living and should be craved like water after a 50 mile walk through a desert. “One day” is the mantra of the conformist who lives by the rules of the normal society, “Today” is my mantra and as you read this I am in the air heading to Thailand where I will begin a new chapter in my life.

One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things. – Henry Miller

There is a plan of sorts but it’s not a detailed list of daily, monthly and yearly things. I want to explore and find out more about the Kingdom of Thailand and about myself. Many emotions are scurrying through my brain and have been for some time. Elation, joy, sadness, trepidation and of course fear…I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared shitless…but in a good scared shitless kinda way.

Adventure is a path. Real adventure – self-determined, self-motivated, often risky – forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world. The world the way it is, not the way you imagine it. Your body will collide with the earth and you will bear witness. In this way you will be compelled to grapple with the limitless kindness and bottomless cruelty of humankind – and perhaps realize that you yourself are capable of both. This will change you. Nothing will ever again be black-and-white. – Mark Jenkins

I don’t want to know that my life will be a certain way in 20 years and I will have a house that is paid for and a child in college and a social security check to look forward too. I want the future to be a present that I get to open every day and be surprised with. Some days the present may make me happy and,  as is always the case,  I’m sure some presents will disappoint, it’s all part of living life. I don’t want to be that guy on his death bed wondering what if? I want to have no regrets and take the chance.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. – Mark Twain

Sure, this grand experiment with my life may not turn out as I planned, but seeing as I kept the planning to a minimum I won’t be too disappointed if it doesn’t and who knows I might be disappointed even if it turns out well. I haven’t neglected the essentials such as insurance, visa’s, shelter, money and a strategic bail out plan which involves a plane ticket and my brothers couch…joking…”he says, hopefully”

Right now I am the richest man in the world because I have friends, family and the uncertainty of what tomorrow brings as I live my life on my terms.

I am reminded of many traveler’s quotes at the moment, some of which I have shared throughout this post but the one that stands out in my mind from a comfortable old book  is the one I’ll leave you with today as I begin my journey.

It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door, You step into the Road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to. – J.R.R. Tolkien

More Great Thailand Tales: